The hand that breaks the fall
by JA Baker
Summary: My stab at a “woke up married” story: Xander wakes up in Las Vegas in the arftermath of the battle for LA. Only thing is, he’s not alone...
1. The hand that breaks the fall

**The hand that breaks the fall**

A deep, throbbing pain was the first thing that Xander noticed as he started to wake: his skull felt like it was several sizes too small for his brain. He tried to move his head to the side, but that only made things worse, almost knocking him out.

There was movement next to Xander, and an arm draped across his exposed chest, blond hair filling one corner of his still blurred vision. Xander was suddenly aware of a warm, naked and unmistakable female body pressed up against his side.

Slowly at first, memories of the previous 48 hours started to surface.

He could remember getting the call that put him on a plane from Cairo to LA when the Watchers Council got word of what Fang-boy was planning and the expected reproductions. He remembered meeting up with the others at LAX, the first time they'd all been together for a year. The journey into LA and the Hyperion had been made in silence, everyone checking and double checking their weapons and equipment.

Willow had made their presence felt by taking down the dragon with a well-aimed spell. The following battle had been short and brutal, with casualties on both sides, but they had won, for a given value of winning.

Xander could remember directing the bus they'd commandeered to Sacred Heart Hospital, a place he remembered from the infrequent emails his cousin Todd sent him. The fact that he would be inflicting 'The Todd' on his friends had weighed heavily on his mind, but they needed to get to a hospital.

Ten seconds after arriving at Sacred Heart, knew he'd made a mistake: the hospital had been a scene of utter pandemonium even before they arrived, and it showed no sign of letting up hours later. Faith had apparently been recognized by one of the senior doctors, who started chasing her down the corridor. The Todd, true to form, had hit on every one of the Slayers, before apparently charming Illyria.

Xander, having been only slightly hurt during the battle, was tended to by a beautiful young blond doctor. She seemed amazingly perky, despite the chaos that surrounded her, and she reminded Xander of Cordelia in some ways: both had a Valley-Girl exterior that hid who they were inside.

The doctor had introduced herself as Elliot, answering Xander's inquisitive glance by explaining that her parents had wanted a boy. The two of them had hit it off, talking about nothing of any importance while she stitched up a cut on his arm.

After that things became blurred; but Xander was sure that he invited Elliot out for a drink when her shifted ended, and she apparently accepted. He felt it was therefore safe to assume that they were in her apartment. But the flashing glow coming through the nearby window caught his one remaining eye, and he squinted to see what it was. The unmistakable sight of the Las Vegas Strip greeted him.

_Ok_, he thought to himself, _you ended up in a Las Vegas hotel room, no big deal. You're both consenting adults..._

Elliot shifted slightly, her hand coming into view: a simple gold band around her ring finger sent off alarm bells in Xander's brain.

_Oh great!_ He mentally kicked himself; _You went and hooked up with a married woman! You have officially turned into your father..._ He went to rub his head, and saw the identical gold ring around his own finger and stopped dead in his tracks, not even daring to breath. _Could I really have gotten that drunk? Wasn't there a law about how sober you had to be if you wanted to get married?_ _No, there has to be a more rational explanation:_ _there is no way in hell I just woke up in Vegas, married to a woman I hardly know..._

He looked round for more evidence to support this hypothesis, and saw a manila envelop in the bed side table, and grabbed it like a drowning man reaching for a life-preserver.

The first thing that he pulled out was a Polaroid photo of Elliot standing next to him outside a building with a glare neon sign identifying it as "The best little church and casino in Las Vegas!". The next was a very official looking document with the seal of the state of Nevada at the top: a marriage licence signed by Alexander Harris and Elliot Reid.

He was married to a near total stranger.

_Oy-vay..._

**The End**

_And in case anyone asks, the title is from a line in the song "I'm No Superman" by Laslo Bane, the Scrubs them tune._


	2. Part Deux

**The hand that breaks the fall  
****(Part Deux)**

Elliot felt her mind slowly waking up; the alcohol induced fog parting to the cold light of dawn. The inside of her mouth felt like sandpaper, and her head was spinning. She knew that she couldn't handle her drink, but she'd obviously chosen to ignore that fact the night before. She rolled to the side and found herself resting against another, most defiantly male, body.

_Oh no,_ She thought to herself, _please tell me I didn't sleep with J.D. again..._

Opening on eye just a crack, she tried to get a good look at the man she was laying next to without moving her head or giving any indication that she was awake. But it was impossible to see anything, so she decided to fain sleep and see what happened next.

Cramp forced her to move her left hand, and she saw a glint of gold reflecting the light from outside. She looked at it as closely as she could: it was a cheep and tacky band, probably gold-plate rather than solid, but it was hard to tell in the poor light. More importantly, it was on her ring finger

Elliot looked round the room, trying to work out what had happened. She wasn't in her bedroom; that much was clear. Nor was it J.D.'s room, but that didn't mean that it wasn't her best friend and roommate that she was lying next to. The thought that it could be worried her: the two of them had only just gotten their friendship back on track after the last time they'd slept together.

The last thing they needed was something like this.

The man she was in bed with moved, grabbing something off the bedside table. Elliot used this opportunity to get a better look at him: she was surprised to see that he was the cute guy in the eye patch that she had treated at work, Xander or something. She remembered him asking her out, and accepting, but everything after that was blurred. What ever his name was, he looked as confused as she was.

She looked out of the window: she'd seen enough TV shows and movies set there to know Las Vegas when she saw it.

_I got drunk and ended up in Las Vegas, married to a guy I hardly know?_ Elliot cringed. _My parents are **SO** going to cut me off! No, wait, they already did that..._

Something dropped past her field of vision to land on her apparent husbands chest, and she tilted her head just enough to look at it: there she was, in a probably rented wedding dress, standing outside a cheep wedding chapel somewhere off The Strip, kissing the man she was now in bed with.

_Ok, it's official; my life is over!_ Elliot looked up, trying to figure out what to do next, _Could I just pretend to be asleep until he goes away?_

Elliot was still deep in thought when she felt her partner suddenly stiffen, not even breathing. She looked up, but his face was hidden behind a thick and official looking piece of paper. Only one thought went through Elliot's mind: wedding licence.

_Ok, maybe it's time I do something about this._ Elliot frowned; _He looks as surprised as I am, so I'm sure that we can work this out..._

"Um, hi..." She slowly sat up; pulling the sheet around her body to protect what little of her modesty remained, "Xander, right?"

"Dr Elliot Reid, I presume?" her 'husband' gave a week grin, "Can you say 'how drunk were we last night'?"

"Based on how I feel, very." Elliot shudder, "I take it from the ring on my finger and that wedding licence that you're hold, that we got married."

"It would appear so, but the last thing I can remember with any clarity is leaving the hospital." One of Xander's eyebrows arched up; "Did we..."

"Yes; at least once."

"Are you?"

"I'm on The Pill. You don't have any communicable disease or infections, do you?"

"No. Do you?"

"No."

"Good."

"Good."

They sat in silence for a while, just looking at each other.

"I think we can both agree that this was the mother-and-father of all bad ideas." Xander finally spoke up, "I mean, you're a nice enough person, and I did ask you out, but this isn't what I had in mind."

"Totally!" Elliot nodded, "I mean, I probably would have ended up sleeping with you, but that's because it's just been way too long since I last got laid. I mean, there's only so much a girl can do on her own, and..."

"You're babbling." Xander smiled, "I think we can agree that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

"I can live with that." Elliot sounded relived, "I mean, you're a nice guy too, but this isn't exactly the wedding I've dreamed of since I was a little girl, with flowers, and doves, and the church down the hill from my house..." She pouted, "I'm babbling again, aren't I?"

"Just a little." Xander picked up the wedding licence and looked at the fine-print, "I think we should look into getting this annulled as soon as possible."

"That's a good idea." Elliot took her first good look at Xander, "But not just yet."

"What?" Her soon to be ex-husband looked at her, confused.

"You said it yourself: what happens in Vegas," Elliot let the sheet covering her slip down, "stays in Vegas..."

**The End  
**_And I mean it this time_


	3. Part Three

_Italic text denotes J.D.'s internal monologue.  
__Lyrics at the end by Chad Fischer, Chris Link and Tim Bright._

**The Hand That Breaks The Fall  
****(Part ****Three****)**

_The last couple of days have been a little weird around here. It all started when a bus load of patients arrived at Sacred Heart, and everyone was called down to the ER to help deal with it. Dr Cox flipped out when he saw one of the patients and started to chase her down the halls: he didn't look like he was going to catcher her until she ran into Jordan, who promptly grabbed her by the collar and dragged her into an empty room. Still don't know what's going on there. The Todd, unfortunately, was on fine form and hit on all of the young women that came in, getting slapped by most of them until one seemed to be willing to take him up on his proposition and dragged him away. Elliot is also missing: I know she's not been back to the apartment, and she left her pager and cell-phone in her locker. I'm starting to get kind of worried, as she's not the kind to just take off like that, unless she's been drinking..._

"Yo, Darlene!" Dr Cox whistled, snapping J.D. Out of his train of thought, "Over here, now."

"Lighten up there, Uncle Perry." The young woman with him protested, "And I see you're still calling your protégé by girls names to distance yourself from any emotional involvement?"

"I'm your protégé?" J.D. asked, then shook his head in surprise, "Did she just call you 'Uncle Perry'?"

"Bad newbi!" Cox hit J.D. on the head with the chart he was carrying, "What did we discuss yesterday?"

"Only speak when spoken to..." J.D. rolled his eyes as he repeated the order parrot fashion.

"Good newbi, good." Cox smiled as if he was addressing a puppy who was having trouble being house-broken, then quickly returned to his regular pained expression, "Now listen up: you have one job and one job only today." He grabbed his companion by the arm and pulled her close, "This is my niece, Faith; you will make sure that anything she needs is provided while I make sure that her test results come through without a hitch. And if you do anything, and I mean _**ANYTHING**_ that either Jordan or I do not like, then you'd better hope that I get my hands on you first, because you do not want to have Jordan _that_ angry with you!" with that, he turned and stormed off down the hallway.

"So, you're Dr Cox's niece, huh?" J.D. looked at the young woman.

"Through know fault of my own." Faith lifted herself up onto the nurses station desk, "Jordan's brother and my Mom had a 'thing' back when he was in collage, and so I'm here." she looked around, "Can I smoke in here?"

"Not really, no." J.D. shook his head, "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, I'm from Boston originally, but I lived out here for a few years, that's when I got back in touch with Perry and Jordan. My Mom and I, we'll let's just say it's been a while since I last spoke to her, and we didn't part on the best of terms." Faith looked round at the everyday hustle and bustle of the hospital, "You sure it's okay for Perry to have you baby-sitting me like this? Shouldn't you be off doing Doctor things?"

"He tends to get what he wants around here: he does this big, scary face thing that he thinks everyone's afraid of." J.D. shrugged, sitting on the counter next to Faith, "So, if you've been living out here, how come I've never seen you around before today?"

"I was in prison." Faith's tone was calm and relaxed, as if it was the most natural thing in the world to say, "Don't worry, I didn't escape or anything; I got paroled."

"Prison, huh?" J.D. stuttered, "That must have been, interesting..."

"Believe me, it's not like the movies on the adult channels make it look." Faith laughed, "I was there because I deserved to be there; I did some things I'm not very proud of, and I had to pay the price."

"Well, I guess that's the important thing." J.D. started to edge away, only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw who was walking down the corridor, "Oh my God..."

"What?" Faith turned to follow his gaze, and her jaw dropped when she saw Xander walking towards them with his arm around Elliot's shoulder, "Xander got laid?"

"And it's good to see you too." Her friend rolled his eyes "And it's a little more complicated than that; Elliot, this is my friend Faith Lehane. Faith, meet Elliot Reid, my, um, wife..."

_Holy Hanna Montana!_

"Wife?" Faith blinked, then gave Elliot a quick once over, "Well, I'll give you credit for taste, but I have to ask, have you been drinking?"

"Alcohol was involved, yes." Xander admitted, "I know it's a cliché, but we went out for a drink, and the next thing either of us remember is waking up in a Las Vegas hotell room..."

"You realize of cause that you're never going to live this down, right?" Faith grinned, "I mean, of all of us, this is the sort of thing I always though _I'd_ end up doing, not _you_."

"Well, we did consider getting an annulment, but having spent the past couple of days together, we decided to give it a go." Elliot smiled, "And it's going to kill my parents when they find out!"

"All good reasons to stay married, for sure." Faith rolled her eyes, deciding that she couldn't deal with it all without a cigarette, "No if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take my own personal McDoctor here and see if I can find a way to make Uncle Perry's life a living hell." She dropped down off of the counter and went to walk away, before inspiration hit her like a bolt out of the blue, "You got the number of the place where you guys got married?"

**The End**

_You crossed the finish line,  
__Won the race, but lost your mind.  
__Was it worth it after all?_

_I need you here with me,  
__Because love is all we need.  
__Just take a hold of the hand that breaks the fall._

_Well I know what I've been told,  
__You've got to break free to break the mould._

_But I can't do this on my own,  
__No I can't do this on my own,  
__I know that I'm no Superman..._


End file.
